Hard Time....

I really am having a bad day...

I just feel very alone and feel like things will never look up. I don't see how on earth I can actually make things work right now. I can't pay all of my bills and buy food and get haircuts, shoes, jeans, etc on the little bit the ex is giving me. What's so different about today?? I see posts by others about their husbands, about buying houses, about moving forward in life and here I am... stuck... Not able to move forward because I don't have the experience/equipment/talent I need to make a living on my own. I don't regret being a sahm for those years, but now that I need to work I can't. I can't even get a job doing work typically done by high school students after school or by recent high school graduates. I don't know why... I have as much, if not more, experience than them. I have a more open schedule than them. I just need to get out of this place. I have neighbors that are making my life hell, the rest of the 'neighborhood' is junk. People getting drunk and passing from home to home, children playing in the roads after dark with no adults in sight (and I'm talking 2-7 year olds, not that older than 7 is any better...) And then there's the whole 'who wants to date a mother of 5' thing. Even if I knew how to meet people I'd drive them away with my family size. So, I am destined to be alone for the rest of my life.